Beyoncé Knowles’ cover of Vogue’ September, 2018 issue has got the internet buzzing largely for the fact that the singer was given the creative reins to decide how the issue portrays her story, interview captions, and even photos. For Vogue, the mom-of-3 bares it all about her life as she talks about marriage, pregnancy, her legacy, her ancestry, her journey, her heritage and more.
In this piece, the 36-year-old star singer also talks about her body image issues after weighing 218 pounds while pregnant with twins, Sir and Rumi, as well as having an emergency C-section.
The super mom says she now regrets the pressure she put on herself to lose the baby weight after the birth of her oldest daughter, Blue Ivy, in January 2012.
Beyoncé also opened up on her ancestry saying she came from a slave owner who fell in love with and married a slave. She went further to share her wish that one day, she hopes to break the generational curses in her family so that her children will have less complicated lives.
“After the birth of my first child, I believed in the things society said about how my body should look,” she confides. “I put pressure on myself to lose all the baby weight in three months, and scheduled a small tour to assure I would do it. Looking back, that was crazy.”
Beyoncé goes on to recall the complications she had with the birth of her twins in June, 2017.
“I was 218 pounds the day I gave birth to Rumi and Sir. I was swollen from toxemia and had been on bed rest for over a month,” she writes. “My health and my babies’ health were in danger, so I had an emergency C-section. We spent many weeks in the NICU.”
“After the twins, I approached things very differently… I think it’s important for women and men to see and appreciate the beauty in their natural bodies. That’s why I stripped away the wigs and hair extensions and used little makeup for this shoot.
To this day my arms, shoulders, breasts, and thighs are fuller. I have a little mommy pouch, and I’m in no rush to get rid of it. I think it’s real.
Whenever I’m ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my a** off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be.
I have experienced betrayals and heartbreaks in many forms. I have had disappointments in business partnerships as well as personal ones, and they all left me feeling neglected, lost, and vulnerable.
Through it all I have learned to laugh and cry and grow. I look at the woman I was in my 20s and I see a young lady growing into confidence but intent on pleasing everyone around her.”
“My mother taught me the importance not just of being seen but of seeing myself. As the mother of two girls, it’s important to me that they see themselves too—in books, films, and on runways.
It’s important to me that they see themselves as CEOs, as bosses, and that they know they can write the script for their own lives—that they can speak their minds and they have no ceiling.
They don’t have to be a certain type or fit into a specific category. They don’t have to be politically correct, as long as they’re authentic, respectful, compassionate, and empathetic. They can explore any religion, fall in love with any race, and love who they want to love.
I want the same things for my son. I want him to know that he can be strong and brave but that he can also be sensitive and kind. I want my son to have a high emotional IQ where he is free to be caring, truthful, and honest. It’s everything a woman wants in a man, and yet we don’t teach it to our boys.
I hope to teach my son not to fall victim to what the internet says he should be or how he should love. I want to create better representations for him so he is allowed to reach his full potential as a man, and to teach him that the real magic he possesses in the world is the power to affirm his own existence.”
On her legacy:
“I’m in a place of gratitude right now. I am accepting of who I am. I will continue to explore every inch of my soul and every part of my artistry. I want to learn more, teach more, and live in full.”
I don’t like too much structure. I like to be free. I’m not alive unless I am creating something. I’m not happy if I’m not creating, if I’m not dreaming, if I’m not creating a dream and making it into something real. I’m not happy if I’m not improving, evolving, moving forward, inspiring, teaching, and learning.
On her ancestry:
I come from a lineage of broken male-female relationships, abuse of power, and mistrust. Only when I saw that clearly was I able to resolve those conflicts in my own relationship. Connecting to the past and knowing our history makes us both bruised and beautiful.
I researched my ancestry recently and learned that I come from a slave owner who fell in love with and married a slave. I had to process that revelation over time.
I questioned what it meant and tried to put it into perspective. I now believe it’s why God blessed me with my twins. Male and female energy was able to coexist and grow in my blood for the first time.
I pray that I am able to break the generational curses in my family and that my children will have less complicated lives.