Every parent wants their child to grow up to be confident, capable, bold and resilient. Sometimes without even realizing it, the way you relate with your children may be having the exact opposite effect of what you desire. These are three ways in which you are unknowingly destroying your children’s confidence:
Doing too much for them
Cultivating the habit of doing things on their own will build your child’s confidence. Being able to do things for themselves give children a great sense of accomplishment and release the feel good hormone. By doing nearly everything for them, you rob them of the opportunity to learn life skills and becoming to independent as they grow into adulthood.
Freaking out when they make mistakes
Mistakes are a part of life, everybody makes them. Your children will make mistakes and the way you respond either helps build them or break them. Mistakes are painful, but they create opportunities for growth if handled well. Instead of freaking out when your children make mistakes, use them as teachable moments. They will learn conflict resolution and promote a healthy view about mistakes.
Saying “It’s easy”
When your children are struggling with things, do not underestimate their effort. What is easy for you, may be like like a camel passing through the eye of the needle for them at this stage in their lives. So, when you say, “that’s easy, you can do it,” you may get them thinking, “is something wrong with me?”, “am I dumb?” It reduces their self-esteem. Instead, tell them, “I understand how difficult this is for you, but with practise, it will get easier.” That way they will learn that it takes willingness and determination to succeed.